The Joy of Drumming

"How do you manage your stress?" the doctor enquired as I whinged on about my hormones and my PMT. At that point I realised that I didn't and that maybe it was time I did if I was to stay sane. And that is how my African drumming class was conceived.

I have met with the sort of reaction you might anticipate if you asked someone to join a satanic cult when I have innocently approached parents in the playground and asked them if they would care to join my African drumming group. I'm not sure why; it's harmless, its fun and its something I've always wanted to learn. Surely most of us must have been grabbed by the beat of drumming at some fete or function over the years, and had the experience of standing awkwardly admiring all that rhythm and energy that we somehow can't be a part of. Challenge yourself I thought, encouraged by my son's drum teacher who assured me that anyone could drum. Suddenly I found the confidence and a few reticent friends and forced them into my new group.

I had a feeling it wasn't going to be an easy process for me on the first session when a fellow more experienced drummer encouraged me to "feel it, baby". At which point I froze, started hysterical, nervous laughter and made the first of many fools of myself. Everyone makes mistakes when learning to drum from scratch, apart from my 9 year old who has this amazing free style that comes from nowhere and leaves me astonished. You see he really can feel it, doesn't have my terrible self consciousness and just spontaneously does it. The other members of the group have all suffered moments of indignity and made mistakes, but unlike me they don't feel the need to go on and on about it thereby drawing more attention to themselves.

I have always felt some sympathy for the hapless celebrities who fail miserably and reveal to the nation their abject lack of ability on any of these new learn-a-talent shows. Surely it is the ultimate modern failure to be so totally and publically useless at something . At some sub conscious level I must have sensed impending humiliation for myself. I am now so far out of my adult comfort zone that it leaves me asking myself why I continue. This is another of society's misconceptions; that we can be whoever we want to be, aspire to and achieve anything we want. The truth is we can't. And at some level I think I must have wanted to learn drumming to be cool, a pathetic minor mid life crisis that was never going to succeed.

But getting back to the issue of stress management, I laugh, mostly at myself, so much each session that that in itself is addictive and refreshing. Also I recognise that it is actually hard for all of us to learn a new skill and how we manifest that difficulty becomes a fascinating study of human behaviour in itself. It is the ultimate people watching experience. I'm in armchair analysis heaven, having both my own personality and that of my fellow group members to analyse on a weekly basis.

As I write this I know I have enjoyed the summer break from the awkward process of attempting to find my inner drummer and yet I also know that I look forward to the tears of laughter that I will be shedding when we reconvene this Thursday. I can only hope that, like me, no one else will have practised and that we can all shakily attempt to get back with the crazy beat.

Article written for Winter 2009 issue by local midwife and mother of four Janine Knight